I got married! I am 20 years old. I replace my family name with my husband’s without a thought. Two become one—how romantic.
Back in university at the age of 25, and after birthing two beautiful children, I explore self. I realize I have come to dislike my married name. It is unbeautiful. Most people mispronounce it, and when they get it right, it sounds like “grunt.” I miss the meaning of my old name, “summer field.”
I also begin to learn about patriarchy—through my classes and at home. The men in my husband’s family are unlike the men I…
Today is February 1st, and I might close the bookstore forever March 1st. That sucks more than you can imagine.
But, this was only supposed to be a December pop-up store for Christmas, because I didn’t have the resources to open a real bookstore yet. So, with rent paid for February, the bookstore is certain to exist for 3 whole months. A quarter of a year — at least. That is beyond encouraging.
And that’s how it is going. Every day feels like doom and a miracle, simultaneously.
This morning I unlocked the front door, dropped my dripping umbrella in…
From an exercise in The Artist’s Way…
I’ve spent the last few months working through Julia Cameron’s classic book on creative renewal, The Artist’s Way. It’s been such a valuable process. Last week, one of the tasks was to make 3 nice promises to my inner artist.
Planning and shopping for just a few days is great for reducing food waste, which is good for the planet, and good for your wallet. Here are the simple steps I use to make a plan in just 5 minutes:
If I swipe right on someone, he’s made enough of an impression that I am actually interested in making a connection with him. I would love to go on a date with this man. That’s my goal.
So, let’s imagine I’ve swiped right on a man’s dating profile, and he’s swiped right on mine, and BOOM, we have a match. The only way a guy could lose my desire for a date at this point, is through communication failure.
Communication is critical. Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship. I am 40 years old, and hope that a…
I was sipping my coffee this morning while sitting on my sofa and reading a book. I don’t know why, but I suddenly remembered, Oh yeah. I don’t really own anything.
Of course I own stuff. The two items that specifically came to mind that I don’t own are a house and a car. Everything I own is inside this apartment. My clothes. My kitchen tools. A few pieces of furniture. My books and my laptop and my cell phone. Some art. Miscellaneous items like plants, lamps, photographs, a fan, a mirror, and a couple of tchotchkes. Okay — my…
You know better than anyone
the height of pain
that matches depth of love.
Have mercy on me, a mother deeply in love.
Who knows better than you
how the overwhelming brokenness of the world
will pierce the heart of your innocent one?
Who, more than your Child,
has experienced the agony,
injustice, the lonely loss,
of the absence of parental love at his worst hour.
Father, for hours I’ve been absent
when my child needs help,
I, her mother, cry mercy.
They’re 16 and 17 now. Here’s what paid off.
Parents make mistakes. I tried to be self-aware and take the time to deliver an apology whenever I discovered a mistake I had made, whether it was momentary and minor or deep regret for a big choice long ago. This has had four major benefits.
UNFORTUNATELY… I recently learned that sometimes I was apologizing in unhelpful ways, or worse, in ways that may…
The decision to leave my marriage was based in the best interests of my children. I waffle about how much to share publicly, but the basic version is that my husband’s anger had ruled our household for a long time, and it progressed to the point of becoming a question of physical safety.
If anything, I left the decision too long, not giving enough weight to our psychological and emotional well-being. Physical violence crosses much clearer boundaries. I pleaded with him to get help and he promised several times that he would, with each promise echoing the emptiness of the…
I got to press the reset button on life two years ago, after I left a 20-year relationship. Getting my finances in order my way has been one of the most fun and rewarding experiences I’ve had.
…even though I could have told myself I couldn’t afford one.
I like free things. All of my banking is no-fee banking, including my shiny-new stock trading app. I had a hunch, though, that hiring someone to help me with my finances was a good investment and Michael has proved to be worth his weight in gold.
Michael was a consultant, hired to…
Entrepreneur and single proto-empty-nester writing about life changes as she enters her 40s. Excited about everything. MFA Creative Nonfiction.