I Opened a Bookstore During the Pandemic
This is how it’s going
Today is February 1st, and I might close the bookstore forever March 1st. That sucks more than you can imagine.
But, this was only supposed to be a December pop-up store for Christmas, because I didn’t have the resources to open a real bookstore yet. So, with rent paid for February, the bookstore is certain to exist for 3 whole months. A quarter of a year — at least. That is beyond encouraging.
And that’s how it is going. Every day feels like doom and a miracle, simultaneously.
This morning I unlocked the front door, dropped my dripping umbrella in the umbrella stand inside, a necessary fixture here in Metro Vancouver. I walked into the back, saying aloud, “Hello bookstore! Look at that, we’re both still here,” and flicked on the lights. I dropped my backpack beside the stacks of boxes the books came in. A wall of empty boxes. I haven’t broken them down because I’ll probably just have to reassemble them to pack the books back up again soon. I turn on the bluetooth speaker that I brought from home, put on my playlist, and got straight to work, like I do every day, six days per week. I try to live in the moment as much as I can because the moment is amazing. I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing with my days, for the first time in my career. What a feeling!
I cry a little most days during the walk here, trying not to mess up my makeup. I really let loose on the way home, grateful for the early January dark and the cold rain that has me buried under a scarf and umbrella (and often, my covid mask) that conceals my fearful anguish from the cars driving past.
I’ve paid the February rent for the store and also for my apartment. The way things look now, I won’t be able to pay March’s rent in either place, just 28 days from now. But that’s how things appear every month and somehow, a few days ago, I paid the rent.
I don’t own a car. I feel guilty for wasting precious resources on the days I drop $5 + tip to take an Uber home.
I always tip. I wonder if the drivers are driving to make ends meet. If I had a car, I’d sign up to be a driver in the off-hours, at least on the days my daughter is with her dad.
I thank God every day for what I’ve been given. Life is good, when I stop worrying and let myself experience the days as they arrive.
I’m starting to find a rhythm, being mindful of the daily bookstore habits I’d like to establish. I have a checklist of things I do in the morning when I arrive. Tuesday — tomorrow — I will order more books. Today, I need to make room on the Visa so I can pay for the books. The daily and weekly routines feel important to the survival of the business. Customer Service. Prayer. Marketing. Gratitude. Accounting. Eating a healthy lunch. I check the daily boxes and then assess the to-do list of one-off tasks. On today’s list? Research becoming a bus driver.
Give us this day, our daily bread. Amen.
